I often fall asleep in front of the television and wake up at some ungodly hour with what appears to be an advert that then runs on for hours. In my waking haze I get drawn into these advert films and keep thinking that I need one of "those". It is disconcerting to find out that these adverts actually work. Subliminally they must worm their way into the waking brain and lodge there, coming to the fore at odd times. As I stand in the shower it suddenly dawns on me that I need a steam cleaner or I'm running down the canal and suddenly have the urge to buy a paint tool that Tommy from the TV said was good. He has an honest face so it must be.
The worst one happened on Sunday morning. I fell asleep very early on the Saturday night and awoke to lots of scantily clad women. My first thought was that I must have rolled over on the remote control and changed channel but no, it was one of those advert films. This one was about the Ah!Bra. More comfortable than a conventional bra and very cost effective as you can get 3 (black, white and nude....whatever that is) for £59.99 including P+P! What a bargain. In my half sleeping state I was all set to call them and buy them there and then until it dawned on me that I'm a bloke.
The power of advertising!
Monday, 6 June 2011
..the shin kicking looked fun but brutal....
Ah, to be English in the Spring, going into Summer. There is something magical about England at this time of year, something that brings out the eccentric in us.
Unfortunately I missed the cheese rolling in Gloucestershire as it was unofficial and not publicised but next year it is on my hitlist. On that particular day I took my eldest daughter to Bolsover Castle. It is huge sprawling castle overlooking the town of Bolsover, quite stunning.
We actually went there to watch jousting. Now I am actually very sceptical about guys running around in fancy dress re-enacting days gone by, infact I would go so far as to say that I find it all mildly amusing in a disturbing kind of way so that wasn't really the right footing to go out and enjoy a day of big boys riding around on horses pretending to be knights. I expected something that I could get a laugh out of.
True to form, the castle was full of middle aged people dressed in period garb, showing the skills of the day and despite myself, I was drawn in. There was a blacksmith and guys making arrows and a falconer and his wife.
It was a breezy grey day that threatened rain so my daughter started to complain and I don't blame her but then the falconer started flying his birds. The Harris Hawk was huge, fractionally smaller than a Red Kite and not quite so pretty but it is a well muscled, powerful hawk. They flew an owl, very pretty but it appeared stunned by the light and noise of the people, but the highlight was a small Peregrine Falcon. What a creature, fast and agile beyond belief, acrobatic and aerodynamic, an incredible feat of engineering that we can still only dream about achieving. The crowd gasped and I stood there open mouthed, I had been gifted with a real spectacle that you had to see to believe.
The knights came out for the jousting and they were the real deal. Plate and chain mail reflecting the cold light, sitting astride huge great warhorses, plumes bobbing atop the their plated heads. I had no laughter because this looked so good. The actual joust was a true event that I recommend attending. It is every bit as authentic as you would hope. Huge horses throwing up clods of earth as they thunder together at a collective 50mph, the splintering of the lances as wood meets metal, it was a show for all. Roll on July 9th for the jousting at Kenilworth Castle!
Last Friday I left work at 5.30 on the dot and drove to Chipping Camden for Robert Dover's 399th Olympick Games. Yes, I went to possibly the oldest of the modern day Olympics. What a truly wonderful evening. Set in the rural and scenic Cotswolds, I can not think of many better ways to spend a balmy early Summer evening. Sitting on a hill watching the fun, humour and true Olympick spirit reveal itself. Away from the commercial event that we host in 2012, away from the big arenas and cities, this was the real Olympicks, for the people. No vast sums of money, no thoughts about economy or prestige, infact it is a true eccentric English event.
The Sackrace was brilliant with plenty of cheating going on. The King of the Hill events, standing long jump, putting the shot and hammer throwing with only 4 competitors was wonderful in its simplicity, the 5 mile cross country run was a little fast for me this year but next year I will enter it. The kids race was charming and the shin kicking looked fun but brutal in places. The Morris Dancing, fighting displays, small fair ground and various other events that happened all over, rounded off with a Bonfire and Fireworks and then a torchlit procession back to Chipping Camden, made for a wonderful evening. Bring it on next year, the 400th and I fully intend to be there.
A big thankyou to the English Heritage and the people of Chipping Camden for 2 best of British events. I am now scouting England for other rural English events that hark back to our heritage.
Unfortunately I missed the cheese rolling in Gloucestershire as it was unofficial and not publicised but next year it is on my hitlist. On that particular day I took my eldest daughter to Bolsover Castle. It is huge sprawling castle overlooking the town of Bolsover, quite stunning.
We actually went there to watch jousting. Now I am actually very sceptical about guys running around in fancy dress re-enacting days gone by, infact I would go so far as to say that I find it all mildly amusing in a disturbing kind of way so that wasn't really the right footing to go out and enjoy a day of big boys riding around on horses pretending to be knights. I expected something that I could get a laugh out of.
True to form, the castle was full of middle aged people dressed in period garb, showing the skills of the day and despite myself, I was drawn in. There was a blacksmith and guys making arrows and a falconer and his wife.
It was a breezy grey day that threatened rain so my daughter started to complain and I don't blame her but then the falconer started flying his birds. The Harris Hawk was huge, fractionally smaller than a Red Kite and not quite so pretty but it is a well muscled, powerful hawk. They flew an owl, very pretty but it appeared stunned by the light and noise of the people, but the highlight was a small Peregrine Falcon. What a creature, fast and agile beyond belief, acrobatic and aerodynamic, an incredible feat of engineering that we can still only dream about achieving. The crowd gasped and I stood there open mouthed, I had been gifted with a real spectacle that you had to see to believe.
The knights came out for the jousting and they were the real deal. Plate and chain mail reflecting the cold light, sitting astride huge great warhorses, plumes bobbing atop the their plated heads. I had no laughter because this looked so good. The actual joust was a true event that I recommend attending. It is every bit as authentic as you would hope. Huge horses throwing up clods of earth as they thunder together at a collective 50mph, the splintering of the lances as wood meets metal, it was a show for all. Roll on July 9th for the jousting at Kenilworth Castle!
Last Friday I left work at 5.30 on the dot and drove to Chipping Camden for Robert Dover's 399th Olympick Games. Yes, I went to possibly the oldest of the modern day Olympics. What a truly wonderful evening. Set in the rural and scenic Cotswolds, I can not think of many better ways to spend a balmy early Summer evening. Sitting on a hill watching the fun, humour and true Olympick spirit reveal itself. Away from the commercial event that we host in 2012, away from the big arenas and cities, this was the real Olympicks, for the people. No vast sums of money, no thoughts about economy or prestige, infact it is a true eccentric English event.
The Sackrace was brilliant with plenty of cheating going on. The King of the Hill events, standing long jump, putting the shot and hammer throwing with only 4 competitors was wonderful in its simplicity, the 5 mile cross country run was a little fast for me this year but next year I will enter it. The kids race was charming and the shin kicking looked fun but brutal in places. The Morris Dancing, fighting displays, small fair ground and various other events that happened all over, rounded off with a Bonfire and Fireworks and then a torchlit procession back to Chipping Camden, made for a wonderful evening. Bring it on next year, the 400th and I fully intend to be there.
A big thankyou to the English Heritage and the people of Chipping Camden for 2 best of British events. I am now scouting England for other rural English events that hark back to our heritage.
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