We cling to each other because it makes us feel like we not alone...

I, like 18 million other Britons, watched the marriage of Prince Harry and Meghan. Being a recently lapsed Royalist, it did bring on that warm and fuzzy feeling that the Royal family gives.

Bizarrely, there was an article, late last week, detailing how the death of the Queen would affect this Country and how devastating it would be, economically and emotionally. It did get me thinking, she has been Head of State, the Queen of the UK and the Commonwealth, for longer than I have been alive. I have only ever sung "God Save the Queen" and I am not sure how I will cope once the inevitable does happen.

This does tie in with some thoughts I had about events during the Wedding and my own personal, reflective thoughts.

The wedding was absolutely wonderful but I did get very sick of people making some big deal about a woman of mixed heritage, marrying into the Royal family. It strikes me that she is a woman that a Prince fell in love with and to view it any other way, to bring in colour or ethnicity, is simply making this about something it is not, people getting married because they love each other has nothing to do with colour or race.
Surely in 2018, we just accept someone and move on, that is what equality is, bringing up anything else makes an issue out of a totally irrelevant "point".

I did listen hard to the words of the American Preacher and whilst his sentiments were good, I found myself disagreeing with his central tenet about love and love being a collective thing because I see love as a very personal thing.
No two people feel the same types of love, there are similarities but love is an individual thing. As an example, those of us that married for love, we know how we felt, looking at Harry's face during the Wedding on Saturday, I knew how I felt at that time, it was probably very similar to way he felt, I could see it in his face, but all I am doing is cutting and pasting how I felt, on top of his feelings, it's all any of us can do.
We all feel love differently, it is not a collective feeling, it is a unique feeling generalised to the collective in the word "love".


So, the collective love of other people, of other Nations, of other Religions, how can you love something or someone that you really have no opinion of? We can't truly love people we don't know, we can't force ourselves to love. We can force ourselves to be more tolerant but that doesn't really have the same ring as the Christian value of loving your neighbour. Be friendly to your neighbour, like your neighbour, tolerate your neighbour, none of those have the same ring to them, but for those of us that think literally, to tell me to love something is a step too far, something that I can't do, an impossibility, besides, love can never cure the ills of the World, love has started more wars than it has ended, love of power, property, even the love of a woman, if the tale of Troy is correct. Even in the Bible, love lays a strong man down, it did to Adam, Samson and King David. I am not sure when love ever ended a war, usually someone is too beaten to continue, too much blood has been shed or an intervention by a stronger military power stops it.

The vast majority of the UK is Royalist and I am sure we will all mourn deeply when the day comes and maybe that is a collective love, the deep rooted ache to the very core that I get at certain times, Armistice Day, when I see the Red Arrows or the BBMF, certain days when I am at one with the Country, to feel how deep my roots are, to feel the ancestors beneath my feet, to know that we are a part of a very unique group of peoples with a recorded history of thousands of years, a nation of stone circles and mysticism, of leylines and magick, of culture appropriation and cultural absorption and I feel that deep rooted ache but is that love or pride or both? I suspect both and expect that many people also feel similar, but I am not sure how I would know.It is not that feeling of love that I have for my family, it is something in my bones, not in my heart, a part of what I am, is that love?

The reality is that love is a lonely road, you only think that you share it but you never do because your love is different to the love your spouse feels, your feelings don't match or mirror because we are all different, all unique, all individuals muddling through a World of confusion, trying to make sense out of chaos. We cling to each other because it makes us feel like we not alone but we are.
I know that love is real but it is a term that we flout around, much like the words genius or hate. I love cheesecake, I love my valve amp, I love my guitars, I love ice cream. We overuse and devalue words until they become a hollow meaning, you say love and can almost hear the echo, where the value of love used to be.

Nowadays we "love" so much but care so little. We are all desensitized to feeling anything regarding the state of humanity, too overloaded with spam emails telling us that we can sign a petition and fix the World, that £3 a month will save a life, provide water, provide education, stop abuse, delete as applicable. We are weary of social media, of the email abuse, of being told what to think, of the bleeding liberal biased new reports. And then someone tells me that the World would be a better place if I loved more...

What should I love more? Who and why? Is it an ideal? If so, what is the ideal. An impassioned plea for 14 minutes just makes me question what you are asking me to do. You want more love in the World but you can't begin to tell me how to make that happen. I can't feel love for a stranger, not even a twinge of affection, indifference maybe but then I keep getting told that a signature or donation will fix things and I have reached the point of f**k it, I don't care, I am too stretched and pulled by people wanting a piece of my goodwill or finances to care.
I feel my world becoming smaller as I draw in the things that I love and consolidate my position of indifference. This is what happens when empathy reaches extinction point, it dissipates, no big bang, just a feeling of resignation, this is how the World is and it's no different to how it was 30 years ago, nothing has changed, we are all still praying for peace but are really more concerned with our own little corner of the World, too cynical to care anymore.

How did I get from a Royal Wedding to this? With a great deal of romanticism, cynicism and a soupçon of suspicion of religion.

I would say just one nice thing though, draw those you love in close, you may be alone but loving is never a lonely thing to do, infact it is the only thing to do, just keep the scale small and you will be able to look after the things that really matter to you. Your heart can never be big enough to care for everything,just care for those you love and the World is a better place for having you in it.

...here we are, a year to the day since the death of Chris Cornell.

It's been a year and I am still stuck for words. I've not been able to listen to any of his music until the last month or so but here we are, a year to the day since the death of Chris Cornell.

Whilst everyone else was getting off on Nirvana, I was listening to Soundgarden, the slow, heavy intensity of "Badmotor Finger" still one of my favourite albums of all time.

This is the year I first saw them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0s1g9L6FgU

This is from Hyde Park Calling just after they reformed, I was there with both my daughters, amazing to see them as it was something I never thought I'd see again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGHMdqDMW4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-yvE3MJjeo
This song, despite being called "Like Suicide", isn't about suicide...so don't judge me, I just love the song.

I have already been reaching out to my other friends that will be feeling today, making suggestions as to what needs to go on the playlist. If this is the biggest hurt that I have today then I am living a privileged life, I am thankful for many things, including Chris Cornell and his music.

Long live the greatest voice in rock

Lunchtime drinking and return of the LA scene...Love Hate.

I made drunken plans. Alcohol is not the best way to make decisions, that is a statement of fact, but sometimes these plans can work out.
Friday was one such occasion. I did imbibe a few alcoholic beverages with some good friends and talked myself into going to a gig that one of them mentioned, that was taking place on Sunday. Please bear in mind that gigs are horrifically expensive things for me, it's always 2 or 3 tickets (myself, my youngest daughter, sometime my wife), my daughter always wants a T-shirt, food and drinks, plus travel costs, so a gig usually costs me in excess of £150. I have been going to around 2 gigs a month this year...ouch!
I had planned to do nothing on Sunday, it was to a recovery day but I ended up on the 8 O'clock train to London. I ended up sitting through the Church service at the Chapel in Greenwich and then I ended up taking my youngest up to Camden for lunch. We went again, to the Temple of Seitan. As I joked with my daughters, they may well eat and drink the body of Christ in Chapel but in Greenwich we eat Seitan. I laughed, they didn't.
I had their cheeseburger with bacon and we split a large chips and gravy. The burger was OK but I do prefer their Spicy Temple Burger. The large portion of chips was enough for 3 people and they were delicious. Again, the Temple of Seitan never ceases to amaze me, the food is great (despite my burger review - it was still very good) and it is such a find for vegetarians/vegans and GF folk. If you fit into those categories, go and try the Temple of Seitan, it is the future of animal free fast food.

I had an unexpected call from one of the 2 friends that was coming to the gig and he'd arrived early. We met and he took us to the Devonshire Arms, a dingy pub that is festooned with skulls and rock posters and the inviting motif above the door, "Come to the Sabbath" with a a horned rams skull beneath it. Here is the bar:

It had Trooper on tap so all was not lost to those that entered. The music was pretty death metal but they allow the patrons to request tracks and Anouska went to town.
We had a fantastic afternoon, drinking and chatting, Anouska winding up my wife by telling her that my friend Darren had dragged me to the toilets to be sick as I'd drunk to much and watching the panicked reply. Anouska thinks this might become her new local. We met a fellow Wildhearts fan, Paul, a Geordie living in London, close to my age, and he too, saw the Wildhearts and left early, missing Reef, agreeing that it felt like the end of the night. Anouska socialised and made some friends, and late last night was messaging some of them on social media and they told her she had friends there if she wanted it.
We had such a nice time that we agreed that we would do something like this regularly, take a day once a month or so and find a pub we don't know and go for a lunchtime drink.

We met my other friend Rai and Elizabeth a bit later and went for a drink in the World's End and was served by a really miserable barman. I have no idea why some people go into customer facing jobs, if you can't keep your bad attitude hidden, go and find another job.

On to the Underworld, the venue for the night, and despite it being a venue that many bands have played, it is not somewhere I had been before. I wasn't a fan, the sound was pretty poor and it wasn't a great venue. However, Love Hate were from the 80's LA scene that spawned Guns n Roses and are pretty much the last man standing (although Love Hate only have 1 original member now). They tour quite regularly and I always um and ah about whether to go and when I do go, I am always blown away at the numbr of good songs they have that I have forgotten and last night was no exception.
Jizzy Pearl was always an exceptional frontman, he always had the appearance of good times but he is a clever man and a brilliant writer. He documented the rise and fall of Love Hate in a blog and it was engaging, funny, sad but never bitter but I believe he took it down and possibly released it as a book that is now out of print.
Anyway, he was promoting a new album and the 2 songs he played off it were brilliant. The rest of the set was made up of Love Hate classics including the incomparable and dumb "Why do you think they call it dope" a genius song that is as catchy now as it always was and is an absolute scorcher of a song live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6odiltGGz_Q

It was a spur of the moment gig, following on from a really good Sunday afternoon, glorious sunshine, great company and it felt like we were entertained by an old friend in the evening. Some days are just meant to be.

A weekend of 2 halves Pt2 - The vegan walk and the Wildhearts!

So on to Sunday. A late night followed by an early morning and catching a train at 7am to see both daughters at the Chapel in Greenwich.
Breakfast at Honest Burger is always a pleasure, crushed avocado and garlic mushrooms on toast, all sprinkled with a touch of chilli and some greenery and a very nice cup of tea. Elizabeth had the GF option, the same but on GF buns.

After Chapel, Anouska and I headed to Kings Cross and from there walked across to join the Canal, heading left. It was a glorious sunny day and we were both hungry. I had promised to take her to the Temple of Seitan to try the GF vegan options they have and then go on to Camden so she could try the cheesy chips from Young Vegans.
We had visited the Temple of Seitan the weekend before but it had been closed due to technical problems, on this fine day, it was open. Situated almost on the Canal, right in the middle of nowhere in particular, it is 10 minutes outside of Camden. I had the Spicy Temple Burger and it is fast food for vegans, a take on KFC and delicious in it's junkiness. Anouska had the option of 4 types of wings or a wrap and she opted for Buffalo wings with gravy that actually tasted like beef gravy, it was scarily close. She absolutely adored it and is planning on paying them another visit on her birthday, with some other GF friends.
Here is my burger:

This burger has the right amount of bite to it and is just tasty. I do like my junk food and to be able to have such an excellent meat alternative, it is worth a trip to London just for this.

From the Temple of Seitan, we continued down the Canal  and walked the 20 mins into Camden where we had another meal at Young Vegans. Last week I tried their seitan and ale pie and their cheesy chips and was impressed enough that I wanted Anouska to try their cheesy chips. They have a cheesy style sauce that is simply delicious. This time around I decided to try a Cheeseburger Pie:

We started to walk the 2 1/2 miles back to Marylebone, down the Canal and it is a beautiful walk. It was reasonably busy with people but not crowded. The water side thoroughfare is scenic and so far removed from the busy streets of the Capital that you could be anywhere, it feels a world away.

Our intention had been to walk down to Little Venice and visit the Cafe by the Water, a misnomer as it is actually a barge on the water. Unfortunately there was some kind of festival going on and it was jam packed with people but I do recommend that Cafe on the Water, it has a lovely atmosphere and after the long walk, it serves nicely chilled drinks and a good cup of tea.

Then it was across to Hammersmith and the Wildhearts. This was actually a triple header with 3 headline acts, Terrorvision, the Wildhearts and Reef. I was never a huge fan of Terrorvision but they did a stirling job.

The Wildhearts were on next and they meant business. The usual banter was kept to an absolute minimum and the performance was razor sharp, ferocious, vocal and tighter than I think I've ever seen them play. They were totally on form and ruled the Odeon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Amu48O1TqA&index=2&list=PLsuX5oMLdlXsZtdjUgMZfC1hkQLehdcyP

It was great to see Danny back on bass so this was the original Wildhearts in all their glory. I did want to see Reef and I owe them a huge apology but after the Wildhearts, it just felt like home time, as if the show had finished, so we went home. I have never felt like that before and Anouska felt the same, no arguments, it was simply time to go home.

All I can say is what an amazing weekend and roll on July so I can see the Wildhearts again and then again in December.

I am also looking forward to the Hollywood Vampires, Myles Kennedy, The Damned, Killing Joke, Rose Tattoo and Greta Van Fleet...

A weekend of 2 halves Pt1 - Thanks Tony

So it was a bank holiday weekend and I over booked myself. The weather forecast was amazing so I had a list of jobs to do. My brother in law and his family were due at my in-laws for a barbecue and I had arranged to meet my friend Graham and watch the Bellew/Haye fight together.

I headed into town first thing and on the way stopped at the Bookmakers and cashed in the bet I made on George Groves when he humiliated and embarrassed Eubanks Jnr, another fight where the obvious was ignored and the favourite was the man who hadn't fought anyone of quality, was smaller, had even turned down a World title shot after calling out the champion, but hey, who am I to argue if it means I get better odds on an obvious bet. My £10 stake netted me a total of £23.75 and I put the whole lot on Tony Bellew to beat David Haye. Bellew beat Haye a year ago and still wasn't the favourite.
I spent much of the day doing chores and the temperature was on the rise until I was a melting mess. It was perfect for the barbecue and I took along some "Pulled Oumph" and the kebab variant. It is vegan and gluten free and tastes amazing off the barbecue:

The kebab one works so well as a kebab, it isn't the same but it is close enough that stuffed into pitta bread with lettuce, coleslaw and chilli sauce makes for a very satisfying eat.

So my friend Graham came over and I had beer chilling in the fridge (Trooper beer...of course)

Before the fight started, as I was going to see the Wildhearts with my wife and my youngest the following day, and as this wasn't an event that my eldest would be interested in, I promised her my betting slip if Bellew won.
I joked with Graham that Haye would injure himself getting in the ring, so injury prone has he been

Rounds 1 and 2 were close, Bellew had come into the fight looking more like a big super middleweight, obviously he was conditioned for speed where Haye was far bulkier. I thought Haye looked a little ponderous and whilst he did catch Bellew with a cracker of a shot, Bellew took it well. Round 3 started and Haye started to unravel. Bellew was the lighter and faster man and retained the power in his right hand. Haye was put on the canvas and looked in pain (I thought he'd damaged his ankle again) and he managed to finish the round but the writing was writ clear, time was not on his side. He survived round 4 but come round 5, Bellew put him on the canvas again and despite managing to get up, the ref stepped in to stop it.
David Haye showed tremendous heart but he also showed signs of age, his body couldn't match the speed of Tony Bellew where once he could have. It didn't help that Tony Bellew read this fight 100% correctly, he showed great ring IQ and ability. I wouldn't write him off against anyone bar the elite heavyweights.
It looks like my eldest daughter gains around £60 from this and my betting record is 100% after 3 fights. Maybe I need to retire undefeated?