Chris Cornell...the greatest voice I ever heard, the greatest voice I ever saw live.

Chris Cornell was a huge part of my life. I have probably listened to a song a day of his for the past 25+ years. I bought all the albums, did the tours and he was by far my favourite singer. He had a set of pipes that could drown out aircraft and he lived our lives with us. He got older, as did we. He made his mistakes ("Scream") and we stood by him as we made ours. There was no bargain, we didn't know him but we were all growing up at the same time, at the same rate and hitting the bumps together, albeit thousands of miles apart but he wrote and sang about it.

I remember watching Chris Cornell on the "Euphoria Morning" tour, he was a frail performer, all nerves and uncertainty but with a voice that was unmistakable, powerful and lyrical. I'd not heard anything by him in 3 years since Soundgarden split and then we had the contrast that was "Euphoria Morning" but it was just so good to have something new by him and the tour was amazing,

Here is one of the many surprising moments off that album, sung live in 1999:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8K92bgVELY

But to take a step back and contrast the man that sang this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTr8BNLqrOM

This was the year I saw Soundgarden live for the first time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QI2upwk5z0

I had been a huge fan of "Bad Motor Finger" and the side project "Temple of the Dog" released about the same time. They always rate in my top 5 albums of all time (along with Rush of course!) and I listen to them and I don't hear 25 years worth of rust on those albums. "Bad Motor Finger" still pushes boundaries that rock has not pushed since and the follow up "Superunknown" went in a different direction, pushing boundaries in a different way. "Black Hole Sun" was the breakout hit but there were some amazing moments, some psychedelic moments, some dark moments and some all out rock moments.

I did buy the complete back catalog at the time, on vinyl of course, so I have "Screaming Life/Fopp", "Ultramega OK" and "Loud as Love". Talking to another devastated friend the other day and he pointed out that Soundgarden never released the same album twice, they were a band in constant motion and the only album that didn't push boundaries was "Down on the Upside" the album that was responsible for their split the first time around. "Down on the Upside" is a great album, I loved it then and love it now, it isn't the same as the other albums as it has a mellow core to it but it has some very dark moments, you can tell that each of these albums were a form of therapy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnplBELUVIQ

Soundgarden split and I waited 3 years for "Euphoria Morning". It was an unusual return but it is a great album that I still listen to. Then it went quiet and we heard rumours that he was shacking up with Rage Against the Machine members to a form a new band, "Civilian" who quickly became "Audioslave". I was there for the first tour and only their second or third live gig, at the Astoria in London. I was offered a small fortune for my tickets, no chance. It was a good gig, great to see Chris live again but Audioslave were a more commercial proposition but he did unveil his new voice, the soulful, thicker voice, that we had not heard till Audioslave:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1mexmK6bDY

Yes, of course I bought all the Audioslave albums and saw them on all the UK tours (3, I think). They were a good live band and the mix of songs from their previous bands were interesting, in places.

Then came the split and the return to his solo career. I was excited, thinking back to his other solo album but it didn't quite pan out. 2 more solo albums and the quality was mixed. I am a fan but I am not deaf, none of them were great but the subsequent solo tours were triumphant returns, he was warm and engaging, seemingly comfortable in his skin despite the very obvious unease with performing. Here is the song that you will know, from his solo career:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ-Ec_3qiOE

My daughter finally got the chance to see him as part of her birthday present in 2012, she was finally old enough. We went to Symphony Hall in Birmingham to see him on his acoustic tour, just him and a guitar and it was amazing. I already knew we were going to see the reformed Soundgarden at Hyde Park so this was to be a bumper year, but just the man and an acoustic guitar is very precious, it is an artist opening up because it gets very personal and it is a very brave thing to do.

Symphony Hall: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maYcIAtg44Q
Hyde Park: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkGHMdqDMW4

Next came the new album and it was not what was expected. Typical Soundgarden threw a curve ball and released something that was a throw back without being a move backwards, "King Animal" was just different, they had done what we should have expected them to do and released something new.
It was simply amazing to have them back and my youngest daughter was beside herself, she never thought she'd see them live.

Then, in November, Later with Jools Holland had Soundgarden on, it was simply glorious:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JfiAUnUIq8

The next year came the tour to promote the new album and myself and a friend saw them at Shepherd's Bush, a tiny venue and an amazing gig. They were vital and alive, they could never be a vintage act, there is too much lack of compromise and too much energy in the music to die of old age. Then came Brixton, the last time I saw Soundgarden and Chris Cornell. I had both daughters with me and it was electric:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JVQhZEw5Wg

Then his last solo album, "Higher Truth" which I ordered from his website and got a signed copy. It's his weakest album. sadly. It is very upbeat, without his usual darkness, a bit too cheery but at least there was a new Soundgarden album due....

Then we saw they were touring Temple of the Dog. A friend actually suggested we get tickets for the New York gig and just fly over for it. We didn't, there was a very good chance they'd tour Europe with it next year. It was tempting though, one of the greatest albums ever, in memory of Andrew Wood, who sang on another of my favourite albums...it just gets so incestuous but you can't help but ask why people got Nirvana but missed Soundgarden and Motherlove Bone? I will never understand.

Then he died.

All I seem able to do is to recount my history. I can't speak about anything because I genuinely don't have the words. I feel choked and sad and I can't listen to the songs that I love because in the darkness of his words lie his eventual demise. I have no idea whether he saw it coming but it was there, in plain sight, in his own words.
My daughter can't accept it, I struggle with the fact that this is it, no more getting older and watching him in 20 years time, croon his acoustic set at 120 decibels to cater for all the old fogies with their dodgy hearing from too many Soundgarden gigs. Or where the new Soundgarden album would have taken us. Or why we didn't fly to New York to see Temple of the Dog...

I am lucky to have had him in my life. He wasn't a friend but he felt like one sometimes. He was the greatest voice I ever heard, the greatest voice I ever saw live, he wrote some songs that set my blood boiling and others that take me to the pits of despair, there are no compromises. For a gentle soul, he wrote some of the most aggressive music, chest beating, bloodied knuckles, full of machismo and at the other end of the spectrum was the feeling of alienation, alone, out of touch and unseen, the outsider. I guess we all relate to these things on some levels, it's instinctive and animalistic and in 1991 it shook my world and took me on a journey that was worth every year. Soundgarden were the band that should've changed the World, they had the talent and abilities that other Seattle bands couldn't hold a candle to but for some reason, where other bands got the acclaim, they were moderately successful, I guess they will now become mythical.

I wish I could say more, I wish I knew what to say, maybe in time I will be able to write something worthwhile about him, but it's unlikely as all I can really say is thanks for the years of help, getting me through days, providing part of the soundtrack of everyday of my life for the past 25+ years, creating some of the highlights and some of the excitement, for the memories and the friends that I share many of the memories with and those same friends that have been as lost as me since Thursday morning, we've all been texting crap to each other, various links, memories and thoughts, it has rocked us all...

I will leave you with two things, a link and a picture:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_w_wE4RlHuE&t=20s

Chris Cornell...I am out of words...

I am beyond gutted. I had a call from my daughter and she was in floods of tears and I am out of words...

Here is Soundgarden from the last time I saw him:

His own words and one of my favourite songs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HFUuwmcrsU

Here is his cover of the classic "Stay with me Baby" and it appears that someone else created an homage to him a year or so back but here is the face of my late teens and early twenties and beyond. I bought all the records, went to the gigs and he was a seminal peer figure in my life.

I will write more when I can collect my thoughts.

Brexit negotiations will shape my vote... but this doesn't mean that I am happy.

They say a week is a long time in politics but it is feeling like a lifetime at the moment. Politics hasn't let up since the last election in the UK. We went straight from that into Brexit, the last 9 months have been spent debating speculation and now we are into another General Election and it feels like this is going on forever.

I dislike much of what I'm hearing from all parties, the Lib Dems are a non-entity that fail to recognise democracy at work and have a leader with a very sticky moral position. He is a man that is quite willing to sacrifice his own religious beliefs for political reasons and whilst I don't agree with his religious take on gay sex or abortion, I would have a smidgen more respect for him if he showed some backbone and stood by his religious beliefs rather than showing himself to be a man of suspect values that can change with the wind. Belief is a powerful thing that goes someway towards honesty, if you are not honest about your beliefs, how can you be honest about other things? I don't trust him.

I do like Jeremy Corbyn but his party is a mess. There is something so amateurish about their presentation and the people they have in positions of potential power that I can't vote for them. I can't vote for Diane Abbott and many of his shadow cabinet can't even bring themselves to mention his name so they praise the manifesto rather than him. It is a party in disarray and to a certain degree, it is a shame as he is a decent man but there is no unity or cohesion to them and I can't help but feel there is a very fragile peace in place there.

The Conservatives are a difficult one. Yes. I will be voting for them because I think Theresa May is best placed to negotiate Brexit but I am not convinced that their handling of the Country has been particularly good. I drive to work on third World roads. My daughters and my wife have all been misdiagnosed and palmed off by the NHS and I am convinced this could have been avoided with more investment in the right areas. I see drug dealing happening on most street corners, in broad daylight due to the lack of police. The streets are filled with litter and we feel like a country in decline. Despite that, I can honestly say that financially, I am in a good place, the economy has enough hope that customers are still buying and projects that had been on hold are coming live again.

I do worry that fox hunting might be on the table again but the Brexit negotiations will shape my vote in this election but this doesn't mean that I am happy. 

I expect the Conservatives will win the election, Labour, rather than uniting behind a leader, will oust Corbyn and elect another Blair type figure (a scary thought). On the plus side, the Lib Dems may disappear and something more worthwhile might take their place. It is inconceivable that the LibDems are so unelectable, they are a party that is meant to sit somewhere between Labour and Conservative but they gave up the middle ground to Blair and have been a party without a message for years. Clegg lacked a backbone and ruined any chance of being taken seriously by backing the increase in student fees. Labour have always ruined the economy and then swept to power after the Conservatives have cleaned up their mess and the cycle starts again. Don't forget that the economy was in a very good place when Blair came to power but he spent money like it was going out of fashion and look what happened...the coffers where bled dry and in 7 years, we are still struggling to recover, yet I still like Corbyn - he is squirming like a fish on a hook as they try to pin him down on Nuclear weapons, being a pacifist etc and all I see is the media attacking him yet in difficult times, he carries himself like a decent man. I think the sharks involved in the EU negotiation for Brexit, would eat him alive. 

I simply have an opinion and a bunch of reasons about where my "x" is going but I am cold to it this time around, I have no passion for it or even much care. It is important that everyone votes but more important, no matter how the vote goes, we all have to shut up and move on with life once it is done, no more taking to the streets to protest democracy or crying because life isn't fair, because it isn't fair. Lower your expectations, and whilst disappointment will become a standard part of your day, you will harden up, you will appreciate the times that you win and you will stop having that sense of entitlement that we all dislike about you.