My so obviously god given guitar talents.........

I seem to have really gone off track with my original intentions for this blog, however, thoughts take us wherever the wind blows.

My recent reflections have been on music. My musical taste has always been diverse (I know, everyone says that) but I have been pretty single minded in what I like and dislike. My first love was rock music and over the past 15 years that has vied with classical music as my weapon of choice. I was recently rocked by the deaths of the legend Ronnie James Dio, Pete Steele of Type O Negative and Paul Gray of Slipknot. Dio was that magical cartoon character that was larger than life and the epitome of rock, unbending, unchanging. Pete Steele reflected the depreciating humour and cool rock attitude that you either got or didn't. A remarkable voice and an amazing producer. Paul Gray was the new breed, new attitude and new times, I have to admit that I am not a huge fan but I saw the band on the web announcing his death and they all broke down in tears, that moved me. It made me think about my own mortality and more importantly, how come rock stars seem to age in a different time zone to the rest of us?
Jimmy Page allegedly appeared on half the recordings released in the '60's, he's 126 years old and looks great. Maybe it's magic, maybe taking copious amounts of drugs keeps you young. Even new boys like the guys from Guns 'n' Roses look good for their ages, is there any evidence, apart from death, that drugs are bad for you?
Cliff Richard is 181 and looks great for it. I know Cliff gets a lot of bad press and I personally lost interest after "Move it" (reissued in the late '70's) but I can't believe he looks that good without the aid of the same drugs that Jimmy Page took. And Macca. How come he looks so good? I'll tell you, drugs. Due to my lack of drug use, I expect to be dead any day now, from natural causes.

It used to be that Rockstars died in a blaze of glory. Drugs, alcohol, plane and car crashes. Now we have our rebellious heroes getting old. Many look great but then you have some that show every single day since they were created (rockstars aren't born), on their faces. Keef Richards, legend and rockstar, 128 years old, has a face so craggy that mountains model themselves on it. To quote Billy Crystal in "City Slickers"...."He's like a saddlebag with eyes." Ozzy, Iggy and Lemmy aren't slacking on the aging front either.

This brings me round to emulating our heroes. How many of us didn't want to be a rock god? For those that play guitar, joining a band, maybe recording a demo and then playing Wembley and touring the States, it all looked so easy. It occurred to me that all the greatest stars are either my heroes or my age. A friend of mine recently joined a band and I was envious. I couldn't believe that I was envious, I don't have time for a band and I'm too old, aren't ? It seems a little "midlife crisis" to me, but I can't help but think.........
Then, just when I thought I was safe, another friend mentioned a parents day where they all bring an instrument and I am depressed to say that I was tempted and was seriously considering it. It did worry me so I spent a few hours last night practising and realised that I wasn't as good as I remembered I was. Then I found out that it's a Sutton day so I won't be around for it. The shame of it is that my wife said it would be fun and that's a green light. What most people don't consider, is that guitarists are a competitive lot and I know how this would pan out. You'd bring your best guitar and secretly bring your loudest amp, to drown out any competition and you learn an impossible lick, often known as the guitar shop lick, something so incredibly flash to put the staff in their place and let them know that they're dealing with a "Professional". You drag out this lick to intimidate other guitarists but it never works as they all have one too and they are all, invariably, better than mine.
I am still uncertain about this whole "get old and rock out" thing. It's all a bit Clapton for me, (I never understood why he had the nickname "slowhand". He's a guitarist, you want a name like "blindingly fast hand" or "holy crap how fast were those fingers, hand". Then he was quoted as saying that it's not what you play, it's what you don't play........No, it's what you play and how many damned notes you can fit into it that counts, Mr Bloody Slowhand. I loved his work with Cream, he had fire and passion, they split up and he got old overnight), and that's my concern. As I'm getting older, the things that I shunned in my youth are appealing to me. Dads rocking out does actually sound like a lot of fun and, like "Dad dancing", it is fun but am I really ready to enter this stage of my life, voluntarily, no kicking and screaming? Do I hide my so obviously god given guitar talents under a bushell or go whole heartedly and embarrass myself? There is that saying, "It is better to regret the things you've done than those you haven't". All a bit "Do as thou wilt" Aleister Crowley to me but a tricky dilema all the same.

It seems to that our rockstar heroes do reflect our lives after all. Some are getting old disgracefully, some are accepting it with dignity, and others, like Dio, Peter Steele and Paul Gray, don't make it. I am still finding my category and it is a struggle but I hope that I am not in the latter.
Just to finish with a few lines from "Say hello to Heaven" by Temple of the Dog.

"I never wanted
To write these words down for you,
All the pages, and phrases
All the things we'll never do.
So I blow out the candle and
I put you to bed"